


Not Alone

by IntoTheStardust



Series: What Brothers Are For [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Asexual Ben Hargreeves, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Coming Out, Implied/Referenced Sex, Klaus being Klaus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 13:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18095399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntoTheStardust/pseuds/IntoTheStardust
Summary: Ben has something important to tell, and Klaus is the least likely to react badly.





	Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, my first work for the TUA fandom!  
> I really love the dynamic between Klaus and Ben and honestly just want neverending amounts of it, so I made more after bingeing the series :")  
> Ace!Ben is a favourite headcanon of mine, and so I thought, "Why not?"  
> Anyhow, I hope you enjoy this little ficlet! If you find any mistakes, just let me know! 
> 
> This story, and any others I write for this series, is set when the Hargreeves are all around the age of 17 (Just slightly before Ben...well...ouch.)

The knock on his door startled Klaus, who had been humming softly to himself as he attempted to get the knitting needles he held to move in the way Mom had shown him earlier that day. 

“Who is it?” he called out in a singsong tone. 

“It’s me, Ben,” came the familiar, though muffled, voice from the other side of the door.

“Since when do you knock?” Klaus scoffed, turning his attention back to his knitting.

The door creaked open, revealing a slightly embarrassed-looking Ben. He walked into Klaus’ room, shutting the door quietly behind himself. Father was almost certainly still awake, and if he caught them moving around between rooms after they’d been sent to bed there’d be hell to pay. That didn’t mean none of them did it. Quite the contrary, in fact. All it meant was that they had learned from a very young age exactly which floorboards creaked and which lights would trickle into Father’s study. 

Ben stood staring down at Klaus silently as Klaus continued to struggle with the wool in his hands. After a few minutes, Klaus sighed, setting down his needles and the wool wrapped around them. 

“Don’t just stand there like a gargoyle, talk to me,” Klaus said.

“What do you mean?” 

Klaus rolled his eyes. His brother was incredibly intelligent, but damn could he be an _idiot_ sometimes. “Well, you came to my room in the middle of the night, I assume it’s because you want to talk about something, and not because you just miss your dear old brother so, so much?”

“Oh,” Ben said, “right.”

Klaus raised his eyebrows, “Right. So…?”

“So…” Ben trailed off, averting his gaze. He looked down at the floor with such intensity that Klaus would have thought there was some sort of garbage on it, had it not been for the fact that he’d done a very thorough cleaning just that morning after Allison had badgered him about tidiness for a solid half hour. Ben opened his mouth, about to say something, then closed it again with a huff. 

“Hang on, I think I know what’s happening here,” Klaus said, a smile making its way onto his lips. 

Ben frowned, “You do?”

“Oh, I do! You have a crush on me, don’t you?” Klaus grinned, “Aww, Ben, how sweet!” Klaus placed a hand over his heart in a dramatic fashion. Ben rolled his eyes. “So you thought you’d come to me in the middle of the night and confess, did you? I have to say, that’s—”

“I don’t have a crush on you, Klaus,” Ben interrupted. 

Klaus shrugged, “Too bad, I’m a fine catch. It’s your loss, really,”

Ben shook his head exasperatedly, but the small smile he wore took all the venom from the action.

“If you’re not here to confess your undying love, then what are you here for?” Klaus queried, and when Ben looked like he was going to close off again, Klaus hurried, “We don’t really have much time before dear old dad comes to check in on us, and if it couldn’t wait until morning it has to be important, right?”

Ben nodded, shuffling nervously from one foot to the other. “I guess I just don’t know how to say it, exactly,”

“Ben, you know I’d love to help you, but if you can’t talk to me—” 

“I didn’t know who else I could go to,” Ben said softly. 

Klaus tilted his head, observing Ben for a second before sitting upright and tossing his knitting equipment to the side, patting the vacant spot on the bed where his legs had been a few seconds ago. Ben crossed the room slowly, sitting down on the very edge of the bed. Klaus picked a throw pillow up from where it lay on the floor beside his bed and threw it at Ben, hard enough that Ben fell backwards against the wall as he caught it in surprise. 

At the look Ben shot him, Klaus shrugged. “You were sitting all stiff and awkward.” It was true, and also very out of character for Ben, who tended to take up every inch of Klaus’ furniture whenever he decided to barge in with a rant on whatever book he was currently reading or to complain about their siblings (usually Luther) not taking him seriously. 

“Sorry,” Ben grumbled, then, “Ugh, why does this have to be so hard?”

“Because you’re overthinking whatever it is, just like you _always_ do with _everything_ ,” Klaus supplied. 

“You’re right,” Ben closed his eyes, letting his head fall back against the wall behind him. He looked almost asleep as the seconds ticked by. Klaus waited him out, feeling that it wasn’t the right time to try and push him along. “I’ve had...feelings,” he said eventually, saying each word carefully.

“Oh?” Klaus prompted, and Ben opened his eyes again to look at him, sitting upright with his back against the wall and his legs crossed beneath him. He still held the throw pillow, which he hugged close to his chest.

“Or rather,” Ben continued, “the lack thereof.”

A small frown furrowed Klaus’ brows, “I’m confused.” He knew Ben had feelings, he’d seen him cry, laugh, panic. He wasn’t some sort of sociopath. 

Ben shook his head, “No, I mean...you know…” 

“Oh,” Klaus’ expression cleared, “You mean like, _sexual_ feelings?” A light blush crept up against Ben’s cheekbones. “That’s what this is about? You were embarrassed to talk to me about sex?”

“No, that’s not it,” Ben said, but when he saw the knowing look on Klaus’ face he continued, “Okay, maybe a little, but that’s not the point.” He looked down at the pillow in his lap, tugging absentmindedly at a loose thread. “Klaus, I… I think something’s wrong with me,”

Any hint of teasing that may have wormed its way into Klaus’ tone and onto his features fell away instantly, worry taking its place. “Why’s that?”

“I don’t...I’ve never...that is, I—” Ben shook his head, frustrated as the right words evaded him, still not meeting Klaus’ eyes.

“Hey,” Klaus soothed, leaning forward to give his shoulder a few reassuring taps, “take it easy, it’s just me.”

Ben nodded, swallowing.

“Just start at the beginning,” Klaus encouraged, eyes earnest. “Say whatever you’re thinking. I’m not gonna judge you, Ben.”

Ben took a steadying breath, finally making eye contact with Klaus. “You know how you’re into guys?” Klaus gave a small, acknowledging nod. “Well, I think… I think I might be into no-one? I’ve never gotten the whole ‘sexual attraction’ thing, and I don’t think I ever want to,” 

“Are you sure it’s not that you just haven’t met the right person yet?” Klaus asked, realizing just after he said it that he himself had been asked that question before, and internally chastised himself for even asking the same thing of Ben. 

Ben shook his head, “No, I have no interest in it whatsoever, it doesn’t matter who it’s with. Honestly? It kinda grosses me out,” he paused, fiddling with his fingers. “That’s not...bad, is it?”

“No,” Klaus said quickly, taking note of the way Ben was leaning slightly backwards with the pillow held protectively in front of him in a defensive posture, almost as if he was afraid of what Klaus might say. Klaus’ heart broke for the other boy, remembering all too well his own fears and insecurities, some of which never fully disappeared. He also remembered the way his own thoughts twisted in his mind, manifesting themselves in bitter, imagined words from his family members. He was always his worst enemy. “No,” he repeated, and watched as some of the tension left Ben’s shoulders, “it’s not bad at all.”

Ben looked up at him, his expression grateful and beyond relieved. 

“Thank you,” he breathed.

Klaus waved him off, “I didn’t exactly do anything,”

“Maybe not,” Ben agreed, “but that’s better than what you could have done.”

“And what’s that?”

Ben gave a sort of half-shrug, “I don’t know… I get the feeling that some of the others might not be quite as understanding as you,”

“You mean Luther,” Klaus said matter-of-factly. 

Ben gave a short, humorless laugh, “Yeah. Luther.”

“Listen,” Klaus said softly, “I know he’s a total pain in the ass, but Luther cares about all of us. He wouldn’t treat you any differently if you told him. Hell, he’s seen me wearing Allison’s skirts and doodling boys’ names in my journal more times than I can count and he’s never said a single bad thing about it,”

“You have a journal?” Ben laughed. 

Klaus rolled his eyes, “Of course that’s the part you focus on.”

“Sorry, I—” Ben cleared his throat a little awkwardly, “Thanks, Klaus.”

Klaus quirked a small smile in his direction, “No problem,”

They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes, listening to the sounds of the house settling in the night. Ben continued to tug absentmindedly at the thread on the throw pillow. 

“So,” Klaus said, curiosity overtaking him, “You said you have no interest in sex. Do you still want a relationship, though?”

“What do you mean?” Ben frowned. 

“Well, you know,” Klaus said, “Hugging, kissing, reading books by candlelight or whatever it is you nerd-types do.”

“I--yeah. I think so,” Ben answered, ignoring Klaus’ jab at him. “Actually, yeah. I definitely want that,”

Klaus nodded, it made sense to him. Sex and love were two very different things, after all. He sure as hell wasn’t in love with every person he’d ever shared his bed with. He leaned over to pick up his knitting materials again to occupy his hands. Before he could begin to work the wool, however, he noticed that Ben was now sitting completely still, a deep look of thought etched into his brow and the corners of his lips turned downwards. 

“You okay?” Klaus asked, knowing even without waiting for an answer that he wasn’t. 

“Klaus?” Ben asked instead of a reply.

“Mmm?”

“What if no one ever loves me?”

“Oh, Ben, of course they will,” Klaus assured, hushed. 

“But people in relationships want sex, and if I can’t give that…” Ben swallowed, his gaze still far-off. 

Klaus tapped his knee, and Ben reluctantly turned his head to face him. The tears that were building up in Ben’s eyes weren’t at all a surprise to Klaus, and yet they still sent a wash of emotion over Klaus. He saw his own pain reflected there, the long nights he had spent awake thinking that he might be the only one, that he would grow old by himself with no one but his family to remember him. He knew now that he had been wrong, but to Ben this was all new. Their circumstances were perhaps not identical, but Klaus knew that if Ben felt the way he did, there was no possible way he was alone.

“Listen,” Klaus said firmly, “You are a magnificent man. You’re smart, and kind, and funny, and you can actually cook something other than scrambled eggs, unlike me.” Ben watched him intently, his lips twitching up slightly at the last comment, and Klaus continued. “You see the good in everyone, and you try to help were you can. God knows practically everyone else has given up on me by now,” Klaus laughed. “You’re made up of so much more than just _sex_. Not that you’re not absolutely gorgeous, because you are, and your cheekbones just by themselves are enough to make anyone weep.” Ben raised an eyebrow at him, and Klaus put his hands up in defense, “I’m just telling the truth.”

Ben’s expression was still unsure. 

“You’re not alone,” Klaus said soberly. “There’s definitely other people out there who feel the same way as you, and even more who would love you regardless of the fact you don’t want to go to bed with them. I mean, how couldn’t they?” Ben gave him a small, watery smile. “And if you forget everything else I’ve said, just remember that.”

Ben nodded slowly and breathed out a shaky sigh. He worried his lip between his teeth and gave a few small sniffles, turning his gaze away from his brother again, and Klaus watched as a few tears finally escaped from his eyes.

“Come here,” Klaus offered gently, opening his arms, and immediately Ben leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Klaus’ neck and burrowing his face against his shoulder. As if a dam had broken, Ben’s few lone tears became dozens, each punctuated by a shaky breath. 

“Thank you,” Ben managed to choke out between breaths. 

“Shh,” Klaus rubbed slow circles against Ben’s back as he shook with sobs, biting back his own tears at hearing the other boy’s oh-so-familiar pain, “We can’t have you crying now, that’s _my_ thing,”

Ben’s crying was interrupted by a wet laugh, the severity of his tears slowly dwindling as Klaus continued to comfort him. 

Klaus wasn’t sure how much time passed, but eventually Ben leaned back, almost sheepishly, and rubbed at his eyes with his shirtsleeve.

“Sorry about that, I guess I just...I just really needed to get that off my chest,” Ben said, voice still thick with emotion. 

Klaus shook his head with a small smile, “Don’t apologize, I know. I know what it’s like. And if you ever need to talk again, whether it’s about this or something else, I’ll be right here.”

Ben smiled gratefully, “Thanks, Klaus.”

Klaus shrugged, “Hey, what are brothers for anyway, right?” 

“Apart from buying you weed, you mean?” Ben teased with a grin, wiping away the last few remnants of his tears with the back of his hand, and Klaus let out a laugh. 

“Yeah,” he said fondly, matching Ben’s smile, “Exactly.”

**Author's Note:**

> God, I love my boys


End file.
